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Characters in the
Skeeter Kitefly Books
(presented more-or-less in the order of their appearance)
Page Four
The Ups and Downs of
Skeeter Kitefly
Skeeter Kitefly's Sugardaddy Confessor
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Skeeter Kitefly's
Titular Assets
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COMPACTIFICATION
behind the scenes
RoBynne O'Ring's
GRUNTS OF
PASSION
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Last Updated
February 06, 2010
Peyton Derente
Skeeter's sugardaddy confessor: teacher of
Art History at the Merely School of Art &
Design, and cartoonist for Current magazine.
(Also known as Elephant, Heffalump, Lumpy,
Lex Lothario, Lord High Nazztril,
Teacher Dude,
Padre Warbucks, and the Wizard of Schnoz.)
...Standing up, he looked rather like Egghead from the old Batman TV show. It was a massive egghead too, shaved clean on top, with a cropped fringe left around the back to match the smudge-moustache. Squared-off brow, squared-off chin; that unmistakable nose; and those dark saturnine eyes...
Cast of Zanzara's Si Comporti
da Essere Umano
A subtitled film that Skeeter and Peyton
see
at the Mercury Theater.
...Whose concubine heroine earned Skeeter’s immediate dislike (“What a bitch, I hate her”) despite her sinister fancy man’s losing his mind during a thunderstorm, and their remote-to-begin-with bagnio’s getting cut off from civilization by floods and mudslides. Unless it was all a dream; you never could be sure in a Zanzara film...
Punchy Frid
Skeeter's First Time: a second-string
high school basketball player.
...His real name was Christopher Robin Frid, but he got called “Punchy” by people who called him “Christopher Robin” first, and he was all the time fouling out on the basketball court. And not just there, either...
Lapsed Catholic Girl
Peyton's First Time: on a road trip near
Mount Rushmore.
“...So what was her name, this Catholic girl?” “Lapsed Catholic. Something redundant—Donna O’Donoghue or Sheila O’Shea, something like that.” “A Jeep Wagoneer you can remember, but not your First Time’s name?...”
God or Fate or Chance (GoFoC)
Also known as It, It All, and the Ineffable They.
...So here he remained, under the banshee’s whammy, left where God or Fate or Chance had struck him dumb (shall we say) only to compound the condition by dropping Skeeter Kitefly into his bowled-over lap...
God's Older Brother Bub
One of Peyton's cartoon characters.
...Sweep it off the drawing table; there’s work to be done. Cartoon panels to pencil, ink, and letter—“A Spectral Singalong with God’s Older Brother Bub.” (BLZ Bub, that is.) “This Month: Dead Rock Stars...”
Mr. Lombardi
Elderly manager of the St. Mintred Rialto.
“...Boys turning their family home into a bordello, while their parents are out of town! You got to wonder what sort of people make films like that.” “Fiends in human form, Mr. Lombardi.” “I’d say you’re right, Mr. Peyton. Yes, I’d say you’re right...”
CHARACTERS:
Page
One
Page Two
Page Three
Page Four
Page Five
Page Six
The Wunderlichs
Wolfgang
RoBynne O'Ring's latest ex-squeeze.
“Ah…” said Peyton. “May I ask why you have to drive RoBynne, in Floyd, the two hundred miles to Port Dormer by midnight tonight?” “Because we have to stop Wolfgang!...”
Dr. Theodore Ecklebury
Peyton's mentor, Chairman of the Merely SAD
Liberal Studies Division.
...Then as now, Eck resembled a dyspeptic Teddy Roosevelt in owl-eyed bifocals instead of a pince-nez, and with fewer opportunities to feel Dee-lighted!...
Tim the Lummox
The Liberal Studies student intern.
“...My paper, well, it’s not quite ready to turn in yet—it’s all written, pretty much, but not typed—see, I was gonna use my roommate’s girlfriend’s typewriter last night? But it sorta broke, and I know you said you wouldn’t take our papers late ‘even if the moon fell outta the sky’ but I could have it for you tomorrow, all written and typed and everything, I promise—”
Heather and Dominique
Students in Peyton's 20th Century Seminar.
...Peyton had never yet disparaged the History of Art, as such—only the attempt to impart it to puddingheads. This afternoon there was Heather, who always looked frightened, and Dominique, who always looked lost...
RoBynne's Aunt Violet
Who bequeaths RoBynne a magnolia-yellow '72
Dodge Dart.
...This sudden talk of “dying Auntie Vi” alarmed Peyton, even after Skeeter explained that Vi had been a worldly-wise taxi dancer in her day and was nobody’s fool even now, on a respirator in the SMECK intensive care unit...
Clarence
Auntie Vi's legacy, traded to Skeeter for
Floyd
the DeSoto Firesweep.
“...All right. Explain again why ‘Clarence.’” “‘Cause he hasn’t got his wings yet.” “And explain again the wings business, please.” “‘Explain the wings’” (rrroooomm) “I can’t believe you sometimes, how can you never” (vrrooooomm) “have seen It’s a Wonderful Life?...”
The Yellow Streaks
A fellowship (and amateur rock band) of
student revolutionaries at Cornwall High
School, who put out an underground
newspaper called Streaky Bacon.
...And with a copy of this in hand did Lumpy approach them to volunteer his journalistic services. A grandly tendered offer, disdained at first by the revolutionaries—Danny Bananas MacBean, Armageddon Bedlington, Joe Mitchell the Mellow Yellow Streak (who had connections) and Snortin’ T. N. Tweedle (who utilized them)...
La Belle Debbie
and the Sister Hoods
A Yellow Streak "of legend imperishable,"
and
the Yellow Streaks's sworn feminist enemies.
...O how La Belle Debbie caused the swearing of oaths, bringing about an improbable Last Alliance of Yellow Streaks and Sister Hoods to achieve that most glorious of revolutionary happenings: the Day of the Banana Peels at Cornwall High School! Truly this was the stuff of balladry and folklore...
Larry Hayes
Peyton's feeble but well-meaning political
opponent his last year at Cornwall High.
...Finally Larry lost his well-meaning marbles one bright cold April day: stripping to the toe, taking to his heels, and cavorting through the halls of Cornwall High School as the bare-assed Last of the Yellow Streaks...
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