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Characters in the
Skeeter Kitefly Books
(presented more-or-less in the order of their appearance)
Page Two
The Ups and Downs of
Skeeter Kitefly
Skeeter Kitefly's Sugardaddy Confessor
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Skeeter Kitefly's
Titular Assets
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COMPACTIFICATION
behind the scenes
RoBynne O'Ring's
GRUNTS OF
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Last Updated
February 05, 2010
Mercedes (Sadie) Benison
Skeeter's stepsister and role model in
Demortuis and beyond, playing Madwoman
to her Madgirl.
...Pushing thirty now, anxious about the future, having to juggle breadwinning with single parenthood and now this scheme to get back into art school, Sadie could get stressed at the drop of a hat—very stressed, depending on what kind of hat...
ARnold Benison
Sadie's father, Skeeter's stepfather, and
Carrie's second husband: manager of a
Kleinsteins drugstore.
...There was a war going on in the Middle East or somewhere, with a lot of talk about embargoes and shortages, and ARnold—normally the sweetest-hearted of stepfathers—was always sending Skeeter back upstairs to make sure she’d turned off her lights or radio or hairdryer...
Nana Gubel,
Alexis Benison Czolgosz and Lenny Czolgosz
Sadie's
grandmother, older
sister and
brother-in-law (eventually parents of eight
little Czolgoszes).
...Nana Gubel wouldn’t recognize Desi as her great-granddaughter any more than she would accept Skeeter Kitefly as anything but a step-interloper. Which was peachy-fine with Skeeter, who regarded Nana Gubel as a dismal old snuffdipping crone of a bitch...
Ginny Kirschwasser
Skeeter's very best friend in Demortuis
(sixth
grade).
...The girls’s first vis-à-vis encounter came when Ginny turned to pass back that week’s spelling test, and found a Grand Guignol funnyface being made for her benefit. The sight caused Ginny to let out a shrill sharp bleat, like a lambkin tossed in a blanket...
Troy Janssen
The first "Sven" in Skeeter's love life,
but
hardly the last.
...So then I moved to the big city Demortuis and “took a shine” to this Cool Boy named Troy Janssen, who was a Laplander through and through. I mean he had a chin-dimple and hair like flax and these tell-tale empty-bedroom eyes—the whole Nordic smörgåsbord...
Archie, João, Bridget Costello and Bernie Farkas
Guests at Sadie's New Year's Eve party in
1972. Bernie Farkas (the partial Marxist)
reappears years later as Skeeter's philosophy
instructor.
...João was at ease in tight situations, having a natural affinity for bottlenecks. He lounged in Bernie’s abandoned chair; found accommodation on his knees for Sadie’s fair bottom; bobbed a nodding wink at Bridget; and turned Archie into an icebreaker by asking if he’d seen any good movies lately. “Indeed yes, the one called 1776,” said Archie. “What an education it was besides an entertainment too. I liked best the Benjamin Franklin, he did a funny dance...”
Waif and Stray, the Stonehenge Twins
"Caterers" to students at the University of
Nilnisi.
...This was entirely too much for Skeeter. “Are you saying you gave me catpoop to smoke and sat there watching me inhale it? How the hell’m I supposed to practice getting high on goddam CATPOOP?” She might have sprung upon the Stonehenges then and there, had her stomach not let out a terrible caged-beast growl. “I,” she discovered, “have got a serious case of the munchies.” Waif grinned, and “You’ll get used to ‘em in time,” said Stray...
CHARACTERS:
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One
Page Two
Page Three
Page Four
Page Five
Page Six
The Wunderlichs
Pamela Pillsbury(-Beckett)
"The Dough Girl," Skeeter's archest rival;
later a Yuppie televangelist.
...The Totalbitch Queen of the Teases was a personal acquaintance of mine, back in high school. Her name was Pamela Pillsbury and some cockeyed idiots were stupid enough to say we looked a lot alike. Untrue! There’s more to “looking alike” than both of us being blonde and short. (And built; I’ll grant you that...)
Lonnie Fesso and
Malcolm Twist
Present at Skeeter's first high school
Halloween dance.
...Remember Lonnie Fesso, who came as Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde and busted the Halloween piñata, then went around walloping everyone with the piñata stick? I ran into him a few years later and guess what—he’d just started medical school, was going to study neurosurgery. I said to him, “Lonnie! are you that into brains?” And he said no, he just liked cutting people’s heads open…
Natalie Horndt
Skeeter's
very best friend in Demortuis (tenth
grade).
...“Wait!” cautioned Natalie, acting as handmaiden. “What if when you’re an old lady you turn all saggy and baggy and wrinkly—” “Aw PEEshaw,” Skeeter snorted, pausing in her doffing to punch Nat on the arm. She glanced down with fond complacency at her own unpropped upper deck, so obviously firm for life at age fifteen...
Elmer
Skeeter's first car.
...The first car that Skeeter was allowed to drive on her own, without an adult accompanist, was ARnold’s big old Thunderbird that Skeeter claimed wasn’t a Ford but a Fudd and so dubbed Elmer...
Sally Whistletoe
Skeeter's all-time idol: a Demortuis
brasslungs
legend.
...I got coached by Sally Whistletoe on how to project myself. Not my chest, my self—voice, presence, aura. Sally tutored kids from all over town about all sorts of things: cheerleading, gymnastics, jujitsu, Being a Good Citizen. She told me, “You’ve gotta be a Hype if you don’t wanna be a Ciphe, so go out there and carpe that diem!...”
Desirée (Desi) Benison
Sadie's daughter, sired by a Ramon-like
individual
during an economy cruise.
...So now Sadie’s a Mommy and I’m an Auntie and we have this permanent person to play Pong with. She’s a smart little baby, too; knows how to have a rockin’ good time already, and cries along with The BeeGees. Sadie named her Desirée. I think that is so COOwull, being named after a famous streetcar like that...
Joe Biggins and Missy Trace
Skeeter's improv partner and
roommate at
Nilnisi University.
...Missy Trace! She wasn’t bad-looking, just sort of mousily nondescript. And nervous and timid and shy and naïve. So naturally Joe Biggins tormented her every chance he got—hiding behind curtains or around corners and then leaping out at her, putting her in headlocks and half-nelsons—“C’mon, Missy!” he’d say, “Two falls outta three! Winner has to give the loser a sponge bath!” I thought Missy was literally going to FAINT...
Charles Wallace
Skeeter's coworker and neighbor in downtown
Demortuis.
...and one indeterminate fellow with the wonderful Wrinkle in Time-y name of Charles Wallace, who had little in common with Madeleine L’Engle’s uncanny character other than a willingness to make people sandwiches...
Others in Demortuis
include sixth-grade teacher Mrs. Maybrick;
"that little dribble" Droan Webster, his sister Charlene Webster
and her skag-gang the Buzzettes; tattoo artist Madame Zelda; bartender
Vince; Mrs. Browning the English
teacher; Mr. Minie the music teacher; LaFayette
Smith the Donna Summer lookalike; drugstore customer
Definitely Gertrude;
Elvis-freak Loretta; Trish the bitch receptionist; Westport Willie the
indigent; and
Bevan the swing-shift bouncer.
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by P. S. Ehrlich; All Rights Reserved. Proceed to Characters: Page Three Return to Top