Extracts from Márta’s Diary, translated from the original
Hungarian:
1921 February 20.
At last you assure us you belong to the female species: you are
talking constantly. In the last weeks you learned a lot of new
words. I noticed those words we taught you before come harder
to say now, than the ones you are learning alone… You already
can count and if I ask you how much one and one is you say two,
or even five and five, ten. Sometimes you get a little mixed
up, but that doesn’t count yet. At seventeen months old we
think you are doing fine. Wonder when you are seventeen years
old if you will understand what five times five means? You like
singing and dancing, have a few favorite songs, and even now you
ask me to sing one of them to you. I tried to sing a different
one, but you stop me every time, till I sing the one you asked
me to.
If we are busy and can’t play with you, you climb up everywhere
or turn your buggy over till some of us notice what you are
doing. You can open doors all by yourself and go out and close
the door after you by the knob. Then you start in there doing
everything you shouldn’t. Want to wash dishes or clothes or mix
cookies, whatever anyone’s doing you want to do it too. You
carried the coffee pot already to Mommy, then a bottle of bluing
which naturally was spilled over your dress. You are everywhere
you shouldn’t be. The only thing you are very much afraid of is
the stove. When you were six months old and you were crawling
on the floor I took you close to it and let you touch it very
lightly. Ever since that happened, you are making wide circles
around it, which was exactly what I aimed to have you do. I did
the same with the cigarettes also, because you always wanted to
touch them.
The most interesting thing is, you never cry when you fall,
although it happens a lot. Mostly you cry when you are mad for
some reason, you do have a temper. But you are sensitive too,
when we play and I hit you hard you just laugh, but if I am sore
at you for some reason and spank you just a wee bit, you cry
like you never could stop. But when you do something you know
is wrong, you come to me and turn your back saying “Spank?” I
never can spank you then, you are so sweet I just kiss you. So
far you called yourself “Buba,” but tonight your Aunt Fáni asked
who do you like best, and you promptly said “Mata.” Another new
word in your vocabulary. You will think I am silly to write all
this down, but everything you do or say fills me with happiness,
and maybe sometime you will
enjoy to read it and see what kind of a baby you were. [József]
[Photo: Matild with Márta]
1921 March 29.
The photo on the next page was a surprise, you Mother had it
done for my birthday. You can imagine how happy I was to get
it. Now we will have to have one soon of the three of us too…
One evening I was counting the day’s receipts and you saw it and
said “Lots of money.” You like money too, once we were walking
and you saw some oranges in a store window. You stopped and
hugged my knees and asked for money to buy oranges. Eighteen
months old and already you snatched an apple. Your Aunt Milli
took you shopping and while she was facing [a] different
direction from you, you took the apple and took a big bite out
of it. It’s quite early in life to start taking things, don’t
you think? You don’t eat very well lately, I think teething is
to blame. In front all your teeth show, but molars are hard on
you.
My dear little girl, we sure are neglecting you lately. But
believe me we can’t help it, we have a lot to do as we are
having our season.
Sometime Mother and I can only see you at noon and suppertime.
You are so happy when we get home, you hug and kiss us and can’t
let go, don’t know what to do with us first. It worries me at
times that at least Mother can’t stay home with you my dearest.
But we have to work and think for the future too. My dear
little girl, these are hard times, you start your life in these
difficult times, have to go without some luxury which you could
have in ordinary times. It is hard to go to our shop and leave
you at home, sometimes you cry so hard, you want to go bye-bye
with us, and we can’t take you. Don’t worry my darling little
girl, there will come a time when we won’t have to do it
anymore, then you will be compensated for everything. [József]
1921 April 2.
It isn’t so long since I wrote in your book, but your progress
in vocabulary is so remarkable I just have to note it. You
understand every single thing spoken to you, and answer in full
sentences. I told you, “Márta, don’t be naughty,” you answer,
“Get spanking?” When you see me wind my watch, you say,
“Tick-tock watch on my neck?” I can’t even list all the words
you can say, even asking for two lumps of sugar in your milk,
and can count to ten. I am sorry to tell, as young as you are
you already show nervousness. You leave one plaything and start
another, even when you talk sometimes it shows you are nervous.
You love to play with your little pillow, always carrying it
around and kissing it sometimes. The next time you spank it or
try to bite it, then get mad all of a sudden and throw it far
away from you, which all shows your nervousness. Soon you ask
for it to be given to you to play with.
Sometimes you are hardheaded, or stubborn is the right word for
it. I am trying to correct it if possible because I am afraid
it is in the family, you probably inherited it from me, I am
stubborn too, and according to my experience you will have lots
of trouble because of that, and I’d rather you didn’t have it,
my dear. You respect me very much without being afraid of me.
Whenever you are crying, I only have to look at you and you stop
it. You have lots of good traits and when you grow a bit older
and can understand better, I am sure you will be a very good
little girl, with proper guidance and love, to make sure you see
what is right and wrong.
Everything you have [when] someone asks for it, willingly you
give it up. If this will cause you in later life some
disappointment, don’t mind it dear, be glad to share your things
if you have more than some of them. You love cleanliness too,
every speck has to be removed each time your hand gets soiled,
and when I come home from work you look me over and if you see
my hand has a dark spot you pull me to the washbowl and say
“wash.” Now I will say bye-bye for awhile, till some new and
nice thing happens to write in again.
[József]
1921 April 15.
I can write again about you, there isn’t a word you can’t
repeat after only one hearing. Lots of short stories and poems
I used to tell you, and now when I say them, you help me out.
Some of them you even can tell with very little help from me in
places. Your Aunt Fáni loves to sing, she has a good voice
too. You enjoy it very much and you learn it from her. There
is one song you learned and are singing it all by yourself now.
That is the kind of a girl you are, talk all day long, now that
it is easier for you to imitate everything you hear. If you are
mad at someone for something, you say “stupid” and hit her or
him. That is why I have to be a bit strict with you, which
makes you respect me more.
Any other person is stupid, and gets spanked by you… [József]
[Photo: Matild standing, József sitting beside her with Márta
on his lap]
1921 April 23.
Well, dear, our first family portrait is made. When you will
see how many pictures we took of you in eighteen months of your
life, you will think your parents were extravagant. It may be
right, but this is your Dad’s only costly hobby and I wouldn’t
give it up for anything. I like to have them all through the
years, so I could always look back and be able to reminisce, and
maybe wish the long-past years back. But now that you are
growing up, we will have just birthday portraits of you, and
some home made snapshots to keep up the record of your
progress. Well, how do you like it? Your lovely rosebud lips
were
worthwhile to have for posterity, don’t you think? [József]
1921 April 30.
My darling little girl, how sweet you are, I can hardly
express it with words. But you can feel it when I hug you
sometimes too hard to my breast, and you laughingly say, “Mommy
you silly.” Your best place to sit is in front of the vanity,
so I sit down with you there and play csipi csóka.
It is a game, I pinch your hand on top and you pinch mine, and
when the short ditty is over we spank each other’s hand.
Naturally you like best when we get to the spanking part. Your
Daddy says you will be just like me, I used to like to play
spanking a lot, but all in fun and play. But now since I am a
mother, it doesn’t look dignified to be too playful except with
you.
My darling baby, wonder if you will laugh when you read these
lines years and years later when you will read all these little
things we jotted down? But everything is very dear to our
heart, and we are hoping when you read them it will make you
happy too. When you could read between the lines how much we
love you. Both your Dad and I love you more than we can tell,
and all our hope is to see you grow up healthy and a very happy
person. Today was the first you said “Kiss your hand,” but
anyhow there isn’t a word that you can’t
repeat although sometimes no one else but Dad and I can
understand it. [Matild]
[Eight photos of Márta]
1921 May 29.
These last few days I made several snapshots of you. I can tell
you it was a chore, you just can’t stand still for a second. I
tried to bribe you with candy; if I showed it, you fidgeted for
wanting it; and when I gave it to you, it was more important to
eat it than to pose. Naturally your Dad is just as much to
blame, but for once it is more simple to blame it all on you.
Too bad it will be all faded out by the time you will see them,
but I hope it will remain clear enough to see how sweet and
pretty you were. Got tired by the eighth snapshot and were
crying, but said with tears in your eyes, “Mata won’t cry,” and
that’s how I snapped you here.
Mártuka in these hard times you are the only thing in the world
who can give me some pleasure out of life. You passed twenty
months old, and can say every word. Yesterday you asked [me] to
give you a book; when I gave it to you and asked where are you
going? you answered “to school.” What do you study? You said
“algebra.” You have a good memory, anything you hear once, you
can remember it. Love to learn poems and you do know several
and say them all the time. I bought you a picture book which
you like a lot. Now when you see the pictures you start to tell
the story or verse under it. If you see a picture about things
you have too, right away you say “Mata has a ball,” or a little
bed too. I couldn’t even tell anymore all the things you can
say, but sometimes you say things so
humorous we all start laughing. [József]
1921 June 16.
Nothing new to say, except the sentences you mix up when you say
something. I am telling you to come to Daddy, you say “I am
busy, not go to Daddy.” Then said, “Mommy buy red ribbon to
Mártuka.” You can say everything, just the sentence is put
together every which way… and then even you are laughing about
it. You have a toy jack-in-the-box which we call Paprikajancsi.
You try to say it but can’t pronounce it right except
Paprika—but the “junchy” comes out “jutchny” and you don’t like
that at all. No matter how many times you try it, it just never
sounds right to your ears. I noticed you dream when you take a
nap. The other day from a sound sleep you woke suddenly, sat up
and called “Daddy, Daddy.” I picked you up and held you in my
arms and you said, “Teddy Bear don’t hurt Mártuka.” Till you
were one year old you loved animals, but for some reason you are
afraid of them now.
My darling baby, I have to excuse myself here for being so
strict with you. I mentioned several times how much you respect
me but I am afraid sometimes you are even afraid of me, although
you have no cause for that. When you cry, I ask, “Does Dad like
it when you cry?” Then no matter how hard you are crying, with
tears streaming down your tiny face you start out laughing and
crying at the same time. My dear little girl I am so sorry for
you when I see that, I could cry with you. But someone must be
strict or you would be too spoiled for words. When some friends
offer you something to eat, you won’t take it till you look at
me. If I nod, you take it, and say “Daddy let me.” I am the
only one in the family who can hold you in line. You could
twist your Mother and everybody else around your little finger.
If you feel in the mood, the two of us start to play by the
hour, then you seem to forget all about me looking at you very
sternly sometimes, you just climb up on my lap, hug and kiss me
and say, “I love you Daddy.” I am really sorry lots of times,
but it is my sincere belief I am doing a lot of good to be
strict and make you mind me. This way you learn to keep your
temper in check. It hurts me when I see you are afraid and run
from me if you do wrong. If you only knew my sweet little
daughter how much I love you, and what a joy you are to me
always, you never would run from me even if you think I look at
you sternly. I do love you more than I ever could show or tell
you. But if no one will be stern with you, no telling what you
would grow up to be. Mommy can’t be strict, she lets you do
whatever you like, she never scolds you or spanks you, just
loves you as you are.
When I come home at noon you run to me, hug my legs and want to
kiss me and tell me that Mártuka played. Mommy tells what you
did play at, going out to the kitchen and mixing up everything
you can reach, dishes, water, food, everything. But the maids
don’t mind, they love you too much… Anyway you are 83
centimeters [2’8˝”] high, sweetypie of
a daughter, and I love you. [József]
1921 July 15.
It is worthwhile to jot down this little episode that happened
today: you hit your Uncle Jani hard, and I saw it and said after
I spanked your hand, where did you learn such things? You
promptly answered, “In school.” I couldn’t look stern or you
cry longer after that, I had to laugh out loud, it was so
surprising. It is interesting to hear people telling us you
were not pretty before, but you are now. For us you always were
pretty. Your mouth is well-formed and sweet, your eyes are
lovely dark and large and your complexion is what they call
rose-petal. It must be true because when I take you for a
stroll everybody stops to tell me what a lovely little girl I
have. Which makes me a very proud papa. But to me it is more
important that you are an exceptionally bright child, you learn
everything very easily except you have no ear yet for music.
All the songs you learn quickly, but you have no melody, it all
sounds the same, but you seem to enjoy them just the same
although other kids your age can sing better. I aim to start
teaching you the violin starting at five years old. But that is
a long way off yet, and by [that] time I am sure your ear will
be better for the music.
Your favorite soup is cherry soup so far. Next week we will
take you for a long trip to Budapest, your Grandma Ehrlich lives
there, and she never saw you yet. Wonder how you’ll react to
travel on the train and to all the new things you will see and
hear? We are not taking this book along with us for fear they
will take it from us at the border. You see, Márta, B.Pest is
in a different country now since the war ended; our part where
we live belongs to Romania, and Budapest is still Hungarian.
When we cross the border everything has to go through customs
inspection, all reading material is taken away to see no
important documents are among them. I wouldn’t for all the
world want to give up this book of yours.
[József]
1921 July 16.
First time today we took you to the show, I proudly can say
you were behaving like a little lady all through the picture.
You enjoyed the part most when there was a fight, and whenever
someone went out a door you hollered “bye-bye.” There was
kissing in it too, then you said “How many kisses?” When the
man went to bed, you said “He’s very
sleepy.” So this was your first show. [Matild]
1921 July 20.
Tomorrow we will leave for Budapest. Wonder what your Grandma
will say when she’ll see you first? I was telling you stories
about our impending trip and about the trains; you liked best of
all to hear about the whistle of the train and you tried to
imitate it.
As I said before, we’ll leave your book at home, I would hate to
lose it. [József]
1921 August 2.
July 31st was the day we got back from our trip. You were such
a good little girl all the way, although it was an all-day
travel, you slept most of the time and when awake you liked to
look out the window. But in the city it was a different story,
you were very cranky and restless all the time. But I think the
intense heat made you that way, we suffered a lot from it too.
And the strange surroundings and people did have a lot to add to
your discomfort, it was a heat wave all right. But you liked
your grandmother and she adored you. She gave you lots of toys,
some little furniture very old but perfect, some toys that once
we played with as children, and brought back memories of my
little sister Eszter who died very young. One day Grandma
offered some apple to you, but you didn’t take it, saying “Daddy
don’t want me to take apple,” but you wanted it anyhow, so you
told her, “Please put it in my lap.” After she did that, you
picked it up and ate it. So my smart little girl can help
herself, and I don’t need to worry what would you do if an
emergency arises in
your young life. [József]
1921 September 10.
It’s quite a long time since I wrote in this book but I am
hoarding it so I could write more on your second birthday about
what a little imp you are. Over a week ago you had an
unpleasant illness, a mouth infection which seems contagious,
lots of other children have it. But thank heaven you are all
right now, but it was not easy to get rid of it. We had to
paint inside your mouth several times daily with iodine, which
was a bit harsh treatment for a baby your age. We were terribly
sorry to do it, you were so afraid of it but we had to in order
to make you well again. We both, Mother and I, wanted the other
to do it because we were so chicken-hearted and didn’t want to
see you suffer while doing it.
The worst thing was that you ran a temperature and couldn’t eat
solids, just liquids. You lost some weight and got terribly
cranky and naughty; you cried a lot and got cross easily. Even
at me sometimes, and told me “Go away, I don’t like you,” and to
everyone else who went close to you, you were hollering “Go away
you stupid ugly thing ‘cause I don’t like you.” I had to spank
you for saying things like that, even though I felt sorry for
you. But I couldn’t let you continue such language if I wanted
you to be the nice lovable little girl you were before you got
sick. Once after a spanking you came to me crying hard, but
hugged my neck and said, “Please Daddy don’t spank me anymore,
it hurt so.” Believe me darling I can cry with you when it
happens, but sometimes you are getting out of hand. And even if
I spank you now and then, I have to because I don’t want you to
grow up a problem
child, and I love you the more for it. [József]
1921 September 11.
My dear sweetheart, today’s the first time you want to a real
theater with me, to see “Red Riding Hood,” and I was very well
satisfied with you there. You enjoyed the story, even made
comments on some parts, saying “Mata not afraid of the old witch.”
And you clapped your hands every time the curtains went down.
When we got home you started to tell Daddy the story what you
saw, with your eyes wide and your arms uplifted and closed too
sometimes; you were so cute and sweet while you told the
highlights of the show, we could just eat you up. Now you are
disturbing Mommy, you’re shaking my arm and saying, “It is
Mata’s book, when Mommy through Mata write too.” You are a very
sweet little tot, honey, and your Mommy loves you a lot. [Matild]
1921 September 27.
We have celebrated your second birthday which is always a
holiday for us. Two years is a long time, but it flew just the
same. My only prayer is that all the coming years would be as
sweet and nice for us as these two years were. Which we could
thank you for, my dear little daughter. We went through a lot
in those two years, but even then, we loved it because of you my
dear baby. Just to watch your dear little face light up when
you were happy for something, and to see you develop day by day,
made us forget our troubles. You made us very happy, Mártuka.
We will try to give you a picture what kind of a child you were:
in this book we will try to write down as close as we can,
episodes and happenings we think will interest you when you are
older and can read it for yourself.
In a few days your birthday picture will be ready so you can see
how sweet you were at two years old… Your hair is a very light
brown, naturally curls up at the ends, but a bit thin yet. Your
eyes start to look more like your Mommy’s eyes, very dark brown
and very nice indeed. You are very mischievous, a regular
little imp, but in a nice way. Sometimes I have to spank you,
which believe me honey hurts me more than it hurts you. Once I
had to tie you to the leg of the table with a string of thread
because you always were out at the neighbors, which I don’t want
you to do. Naturally you don’t like that, but it had to be done
to keep you at home. You have a strong will, and are quite
stubborn at times, which I hope will change in time.
Now you can say everything already. Just to show you what a
little imp you really are, here are a few things you said. You
always like to climb up on chairs, and once I got scared and
said to you, “Oh, you’ll fall down, honey,” which you answered,
“I won’t fall down, honey.” When I said, “I won’t give you any
cake,” you said “I don’t want any.” Then you said, “Oh Daddy,
the ducks are barking.” And to your nursemaid you told, “Don’t
pick your nose.” When you got sore at her the other day, you
told her, “I will spank you, honestly, and will tell your mother
on you.” Then you asked me “What are you playing on the
violin?” I answered H minor, you said “What H minor?”
Then you asked your Mommy “How much is one times one?” When I
lit a match, you tried to blow it out. Once I did the blowing
out, but you said you did and insisted if Mata said she blew it
out, then she did blow it out. One night we came home from a
walk kind of late, the moon was up and you asked, “Daddy, what
is that?” and I told you, then we rounded a corner, and you
happily said, “There is another moon, Daddy.” You were
evidently thinking about it, because after a few seconds you
told me, “A candle is lit up in the moon.”
From a two-year-old baby that’s pretty good, and it isn’t just
conversation always; you think things out by yourself too. For
instance, you said, “We went to bed yesterday and we are going
to bed today too.” You love to sing, quite off tune too, but no
one cares about that. You learn lots of songs, especially from
the maids, but sometimes you sing a melody and make up the verse
for it as you sing. When you are very happy, you even talk to
us singing, just as in an opera. You love to play dolls, but
not with a real dolly; you take a piece of wood or stick and you
dress it up or cover it with a blanket, and sing to it hugging
it close to you. Then you really love to hear stories, any
kind, just as long as it is a story. But your favorite ones are
“Little Red Riding Hood,” “The Seven Dwarfs,” and “Jack and the
Beanstalk.” [József]
[Same day] My sweet little darling, this is the most
joyous day of our life. Your Daddy and Mommy are terribly happy
to reach this day, your second birthday. Everybody was nice to
you, and you got lots of presents. Your Aunt Fáni bought you a
doll, Aunt Milli a toy dish, your little cousin Bébi some
chocolate cake slices, which you like very much. Even the
neighbors brought you all sorts of good things, chocolate and
candy. One girl came over with a box of candy. It was funny,
you didn’t want to say hello to her, but when she showed what
she got for you, then you didn’t just say hello, but even kissed
her. You don’t know my dearest baby how much everyone loves
you. The whole neighborhood thinks you are cute and sweet. We
both are so proud of you and no word could express how much we
love you. My only wish on this day is that you will be happy
for the rest of your life. Lovingly, your
Mother. [Matild]
[Birthday photo: Márta with an enormous bow in her hair]
1921 December 8.
It is a long time since I wrote last, but there was nothing
much to record as we are so used to hearing you talk a mile a
minute, so now we only hear it when you say some cute words.
You learned words from the maids, [words] we don’t like,
scolding words mostly. Sometimes we hear you tell them, “Oh you
stupid monkey, I will slap your face till you’ll cry!” For this
you get spanked, and you don’t like that and try not to say it
anymore, but sometimes it just happens again and you get scared
and look at us [wondering] what will happen. We both are trying
very hard to make you see how bad it is to say things like that,
and I am sure when you are a little older you won’t do it even
when you get temperamental, as you are so many times now. You
have a very good mind, and learn very easily. Only once you
hear a poem or a song and you can repeat it. Your singing is
still very much out of tune, but that doesn’t bother anyone,
especially you, and you keep singing just the same.
I am teaching you now the times table up to thirty, and you can
say it every which way already; it happened you embarrassed your
Aunt Ily with it, and she is six years older than you are.
Today I showed you how to write the number 1, and you did it
right away alone, but I think because you liked the sound of the
way I said “up and down” while you did it. You are asking
questions all the time. For instance: “Daddy, why do we have to
go to bed?” I answer, “So we can sleep.” “Why do we have to
sleep?” “Because we are sleepy.” “Why are we sleepy?” And so
on all the time. I tried to answer all your questions, but it
seemed you never will get tired of asking, so I just walked away
from you. You’re even stopping people to ask their names. You
talk very plainly now, only the R doesn’t come out plain yet.
When you start to say something you talk very fast, which if it
persists I will have to slow you down. If anyone else talks
fast, right away you tell them, “Not so fast—not so fast.”
The kitchen is the best-liked place for you, there you love to
be and naturally you are in everything, and if anyone tells you
to leave it, they have a hard time making you do it. But we
have to keep you out as you break a lot of glasses and small
dishes. And when laundry day comes, you are there too to help
wash. But now I will let your Mommy write
more of your escapades. [József]
1921 December 26.
Sure I will do it, my sweet. I have to tell that St. Nicholas
was here already. You were waiting for him anxiously because
when you were naughty we told you he will bring you some
switches, but if you are good then you will get some nice
things. Before you went to bed, you had to shine up your shoes
to put them on the windowsill to be filled. Dad gave them back
to you several times, saying they weren’t shiny enough, and you
were so serious when you took them to make them look shinier.
When they were very nice you put them on the windowsill hoping
St. Nick would be good to you, asking for a doll and for some
chocolate.
You woke very early next morning, and the first thing was, “Did
St. Nick come?” Dad picked you up and took you to the window to
see. I can’t describe the joy in your eyes and face, my dear
baby, when you saw in one shoe a big clown with a bell on his
long cap, and in the other shoe the chocolate. Your Aunt Fáni
fixed up a little basket with lots of nice things; when you saw
it you clapped your hands and said “How pretty.” You were such
a darling when you said that we almost smothered you with hugs
and kisses. You like your clown very much, carry it around with
you all day long. That is the best thing in you, my darling,
that no matter how small a present you get it makes you very
happy every time.
[Matild]
[Photos: Márta with her clown, and with four other children
in a sleigh in the snow]
1922 January 8.
I was trying to take some snapshots of you. I thought that
would be the best way to show you later what kind of baby you
were. But sorry to say they didn’t come out good. It isn’t
your fault, my dear, you stood very nice and quiet this time.
Even if they aren’t good I am going to put them in your book,
you might be able to see them yet… In the picture in the middle
you are holding your clown, which you don’t want to put down for
a second. One evening we came in from a walk with you, and when
we stepped in the doorway you started to cry with big tears.
When I asked “What’s wrong?” you pointed at the table where your
clown was, and said, “I forgot to take my Jancsi for a walk with
me.” You were crying and kissing him for a long time after
that, saying, “Sorry, I forgot to take you Jancsika, but I won’t
do it anymore.” You love to play with dolls and go to sleep
with them if we don’t watch out. You like to wash things out,
and also to draw on paper.
Tonight we were sitting in the kitchen, all of a sudden you
asked me, “Please Daddy, go in the other room.” I asked why?
You just wanted me to go out, but when I insisted on knowing
why, you told me you wanted to wash dishes with Zsuzsi, the
maid. You were very happy when I told you, “All right, you can
wash.” Then you like next to draw pictures, any kind, as long
as you can hold a pencil. Here are the things you draw, you
call them “palika,” and you can make a number 1 very nicely. [Followed
by a page of Márta’s “drawings”]
When you finished drawing, you said “It is all done.” But you
were pouting when I didn’t let you draw all over the book. I
made you very happy when I bought you your first toothbrush;
every half hour you went to brush your teeth, and all of a
sudden you started sweeping the floor with it. The other day
you had a bright saying which no one taught you to say: to the
maid you said, “Berta—you are very pretty, but a little bit
dumb.”
Your only bad habit is to climb up on chairs and from them to
the table. Our constant fear is that sometime you might fall
and break your bones. You did fall several times but so far we
are lucky you didn’t hurt yourself much. The worst thing is
that you must be spanked for it, and you are very much afraid of
spanking, but we hope to make you realize we don’t like you to
climb on things. Yesterday you did climb up on the chair and
fall off again. You knew spanking will follow that, but you
were a little smarty, though you hurt yourself. You said,
“Daddy, I didn’t fall, I just climbed down,” so I had nothing to
spank you for. Now when you fall you get up quickly and say,
“Playing soldier.” You say it so you shouldn’t be spanked, and
try to smile it off.
I think you are a bit afraid of me, I only have to look at you
when you’re doing wrong and you are scared. If only you knew,
my darling, even though I look sternly, how much I love you.
But I can’t tell you now, you’ll have to find that out when you
are older and will read this book yourself. [József]
Notes
